I Blinked My Eyes and My Life Happened

Laurel Rund's art, poem and music called "I Blinked My Eyes and My Life Happened"

I wrote this poem in 2003, reflecting about my sons and how quickly time had slipped away.   Then, in 2009, after my husband Marty passed ~ this poem took on a deeper meaning.   It has been revised to be reflective of my thoughts of today.   Even though the essence of this poem is one of regret,  I now understand that one should stay in the present moment because, truthfully,  that is all we have!  “What you are is what you have been. What you’ll be is what you do now.” – Buddha

I Blinked My Eyes
The wise ones told me not to do it ~ but I was young and foolish.
Challenges surrounded me
and I wished them away, just wished them away.
I blinked my eyes ~ I blinked my eyes
and my life happened.
Thinking things would be  better down the road.
Suddenly it happened ~
I blinked my eyes and time melted away!
It just melted away.
Gently but so swiftly life unrolled itself ~
time was flying,  slipping away, just slipping away.
Now I miss those moments that are lost forever.
Because I know ~ I wished them away,
just wished them away.
And, as foretold
I blinked my eyes ~ I blinked my eyes
and my life happened!
© 2010 Laurel D. Rund

Please listen to the song I Blinked My Eyes

composed and sung by Philip W. Leber.

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Reconnection with Joy!

My Journey of Reconnection with Joy

Contributed by Randy Brown

 

Randy Brown's narrative in Metamorphosis-Your StoriesAs a kid, I knew exactly what brought me joy! It was playing baseball. The game was magical to me. I loved everything about it: the uniforms, the equipment, even the dimension of the field. I loved the strategy of each pitch. I love to watch the Major league players who had become my heroes for their amazing ability to play this magical game.

When I wasn’t playing baseball I was day-dreaming about baseball, reading books and articles about baseball. I would walk with my friends to 7-Eleven to buy baseball cards and baseball trading cups. I would buy baseball magazines so I could cut out the pictures and put them up on my bedroom wall.

No one ever had to motivate me to play baseball! My desire to play flowed as effortlessly as breathing. When I was playing baseball it was as if time didn’t exist, I never checked the time to see when I needed to quit. It required no effort, no hard work and there was no pressure, no stress, just pure joy!

I grew up in a very normal, happy family. And to this day we are all very close and love each other deeply. My parents were loving and generous people who also happened to be extremely talented and high achieving people. My Dad was gifted in athletics and business, while my mother was a gifted singer.

Somewhere along the way I lost the ability to be “fully alive.” As anxiety and fear of failure crept into my life I began avoiding many of the joys of life, in order to avoid pain.

Along the way I came to the conclusion that there were only two standards of performance: perfection or failure, there was no middle ground. This caused me to drive myself very hard and to put a lot of internal pressure on myself. In doing so, I became my own harsh judge.

So by the time I reached high school the inner pressure of perfectionism had me completely disconnected from my earlier, pure love of baseball. The passion that had once resonated so strongly, had been whittled away, one perfectionistic piece at a time. I had become terrified of not living up to my own perfectionistic ideals, no longer playing for the joy of the game, but instead trying to avoid failing, because failure, of any kind, was not an option. What could I do but try even harder, which brought on more stress and anxiety.

In college, I did what I felt I “should” do by pursuing a major in Business, which I had no passion for. In fact, it caused me great anxiety and when I didn’t excel in my school work I experienced frustration and discouragement.

When I graduated, I followed my Dad’s footsteps and went into sales. By now I was completely disconnected from what brought me joy, and was completely without a dream or passion in my life. I was just doing what I thought “I should” do.

Of course, I took on my sales career with the same perfectionistic mindset. I definitely had an “outside-in” focus, needing the recognition, bonus checks and awards that are typical of people having to be motivated to do something they aren’t inspired by.

Under the stress of trying to be high-performer, in something I didn’t love, I began having panic attacks and severe depression. Somehow I continued in sales for another 25 years, all the time driving myself, and continuing to battle anxiety. Eventually OCD and addictive tendencies began to take over and I hit the wall. I knew there had to be something more. I had reached the point of emotional and spiritual bankruptcy.

The direction of my life began to change when I had an amazing spiritual experience. One Sunday afternoon as I was praying in my bedroom, being now truly desperate, something seemed to subtly shift and a gentle message pierced my despair: I received the impression that we needed to move to Utah where my father-in-law worked as a personal success coach for the Professional Education Institute, a company that helps clients all over the world align with their dreams and passions.

Things didn’t completely change overnight, there were still challenges ahead, but my transformation process was underway. Little by little, I was exposed to the success principles taught by some of the world’s top personal development gurus.

After working there for a while, it became evident that there were some absolutely vital things missing from all of their teachings

While working at PEI, I had the opportunity of meeting best-selling author and inspirational speaker Jack Canfield when he came to speak with the personal coaches. In his presentation, he took us through a meditation exercise designed to help us connect with our “Highest Good.” This simple exercise had a life-changing effect on me. For years I had an inner desire to become an author myself. I had started and stopped several times in my efforts to write a book. As Jack spoke to us that day, something amazing took place inside of me that caused powerful emotions to resonate.

This experience caused me to ask myself, “What if everything I’ve believed about success is wrong?”

  • What if True Success is a measure of how happy I am?
  • What if True Success is less about effort and more about allowing?
  • What if True Success flows as a result a Divine Purpose that been designed for each of our lives?

I know now that these feelings that resonated so powerfully inside of me were calling me to my “Divine Purpose,” calling me to live the joy that was designed for my life.

Contact page for the Essence of Laurel website

“Your vision will become clear only when you look into your heart.  Who looks outside dreams.  Who looks inside awakens.” – Carl Jung 

 

Randy Brown shares a story in Metamorphosis-Your Stories

Bio – Randy Brown

Randy Brown is a personal development speaker, author and coach. He is now a self-employed business owner.

Randy is the author of “Experiencing Christ, Your Personal Journey to the Savior,” and his current project is “TRUE Success: Your Divine Purpose.” He has done personal coaching for Robert Kiyosaki and Jack Canfield.

For over 20 years, Randy did numerous public speaking engagements for the Southwestern/Great American Company.

Randy’s  blog contains articles and posts designed to help individuals  find “TRUE Success” by connecting to their “Divine Purpose.” His inspirational messages will provide readers with universal principles and techniques that will enable individuals to change limiting beliefs and attract an abundant life of Divine Purpose!

Randy Brown’s Blog: www.principlesofdivinepurpose.com

http://www.facebook.com/7PrinciplesOfDivinePurpose

 

 

 

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The Yin and Yang of My Heart by Laurel D. Rund

The Yin and Yang of My Heart

Unbelievable as it seems, it has been four years since my husband passed away. Every year, from January 26th until February 19th, I go into a Bermuda triangle of memories and emotions – his birthday, the day of his death and our anniversary fall on these dates.   You would think grief would have loosened its hold on me, but these meaningful days still haunt me.

I loved my husband for 44 years (notwithstanding all the ups and downs of most marriages).  Today,  I  am blessed to be in a committed and loving relationship with a wonderful man who has graced my life in many unexpected ways.  We understand that we each bring our own life history into the mix, which enriches the bond between us..

Mature relationships are so different from the ones we had when we were young and always looking forward.   In addition, I have the perspective of time and the experience of loss, which has taught me to be grateful for what is here right now in the present moment.

original artwork of a heart by Laurel Rund

The Yin and Yang of My Heart

And this brings me to the angst that is the Yin and Yang of my heart.

I have been worried that the love I hold for my husband in my heart would somehow be lessened or lost because of my newfound love.  I wondered if I could love two men, quite differently, in a balanced and peaceful way alongside each other?

“Yin and yang are two sides of dualism. It is the tail and the head of a coin. The tail is yin, and then the head is yang. They exist alongside one another. The head cannot exist without the tail, and the tail cannot exist without the head.  The earth we live on is yin, and the sun that brings us warmth is yang. Sadness is yin, while joyfulness is yang.” (Tao-In-You.com)

At lunch the other day, I shared with a friend, who was widowed after 60+ years of marriage, what I was struggling with.  She looked at me and said “don’t you have room in your heart to love all of your children?” That simple question was an “Aha! Moment” for me.

I immediately flashed back to a memory of being pregnant with my second son and wondering how in the world I could possibly love another child as much as my first.  As soon as he was born, the love for my “second child” enveloped me; and the question of how much capacity I had to love became a moot point.

My heart has room for many loves – my husband, my new mate, family, friends, and pets.  It is a big place with infinite capacity.

In the past, when one of our pets died and we got a new cat or dog, not a replacement, but another pet to love ~ I didn’t worry about room in my heart.  I didn’t worry about losing the memories of that beloved pet.  I am not likening the death of my husband to a pet, but the point here is that I am more than capable of holding countless “loves” in my heart.

I consider myself very lucky and am grateful to have found a loving man who honors my past, as I do his.  In our sixties, we know that our individual journeys, before we met, prepared us to find the love we have for each other today. We have blended our lives and are building our own history ~ each and every treasured day that we spend together. I have come to understand that I am not being disloyal to my deceased husband; I am honoring the love we had by being open to life’s possibilities.

Today was a watershed moment for me.  The questioning within me has been answered and my heart is open and at ease.

As Rumi said, “Your task is not to seek for love, but merely to seek and find all the barriers within yourself that you have built against it.”   I whole “heartedly” agree!

original artwork and story by Laurel D. Rund

 Listen to the song “Can We Will We?”written by Laurel D. Rund

Composed & sung by my love Philip W. Leber

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Contact page for the Essence of Laurel website

The CD “Emerging Voices” can be found on Itunes or Philip’s website

The book “Emerging Voices” can be found on Amazon

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This Puzzle Called Life

 This Puzzle Called Life

I was working my way through my own personal puzzle in 2010.  It was a transformative time – as I moved through grief into an appreciation for my newly reshaped life and spirit. After completing the artwork below, I sat down and wrote an accompanying poem “This Puzzle Called Life.”  Both pieces are included in my book “Emerging Voices.

For me, it was about letting go of fear and finding my creative voice.   The poem still inspires me today.   “LDR” equals Laurel Diane Rund saying “YES” to life!  That’s my Essence talking about the here and now.

This Puzzle Called Life a poem by inspirational writer and artist Laurel Rund from her book Emerging Voices

 Pieced together throughout the years,

the outside border of this puzzle called “life”

presents itself as my human form.

Like a comfy pair of shoes, it is easy to wear

and visible for all to see.

Ah, but the inside pieces are much more

complex ~ hidden from view.

They are a reflection of my spirit, of my soul!

I have finally come to understand that these

puzzle pieces ought not be rigid or unyielding.

They should be sturdy, pliable and unrestrained

 because life is about change and wisdom gained .

In the past, I was intimidated by puzzles,

put off by the frustration of not being able

to see how everything fits together.

Today, as I move my life’s puzzle pieces around

and new shapes take form,  I am filled

with curiosity and confidence.

These colorful images are a kaleidoscope which

reveal my intent, my purpose and the gifts within me.

Laurel D. Rund (c) 2010

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Endings and Beginnings – its metamorphosis!

Endings and Beginnings – its metamorphosis!

 

My poem and original artwork called Endings and Beginnings were created in 2009, reflecting how I felt after grappling with the loss of my husband.   As I walked on Siesta Key, here in Sarasota, Florida – a calmness came over me.  The sunset reminded me about how life renews itself every single day.  Endings and Beginnings was and is reflective of my attitude about life.

Yesterday,  for no particular reason, I was inspired to transform the original artwork which accompanied the poem Endings and Beginnings in my book “Emerging Voices.”   My artwork went through its own metamorphosis, just as I have.   Change is inevitable and it gives me a chance to express myself from where I am in the present moment.  As John O’Donohue said There is an unseen life that dreams us. It knows our true direction and destiny. We can trust ourselves more than we realize and we need have no fear of change” 

The song, Endings and Beginnings, was composed and sung by Philip Leber – my life partner.   When he composed the music, he was inspired by both the poetry and the original image.   Click on the link below to listen to Endings and Beginnings – it reflects how both of us feel about life today.

Enjoy!   Laurel

Spiritual poetry and artwork by Laurel Rund called Endings and BeginningsEndings & Beginnings

When I gaze at a sunset, it fills me with awe.

Watching the orange glow of the sun recede,

it takes me to a place of serenity and optimism.

As sundown arrives, I cannot help but

stand still…be quiet…and bear witness.

Nature’s golden moments and breathtaking beauty

offer the gift of tranquility.

A sunset brings with it the soft whisper

of life’s possibilities ~

the promise of a new day!

When this magnificent source of light

recedes behind the clouds far into the horizon,

and daylight starts to dim,

I know with certainty that life always

renews itself with Endings and Beginnings.

Laurel D. Rund   © 2009
 

 

Endings & Beginnings:   

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Lyrics by Laurel D. Rund & Philip Leber.  Music composed and sung by Philip W. Leber of Gulf Blues

 

The original collage and touch drawing of Endings and Beginnings by Laurel Rund

Original collage and touch drawing titled  Endings and Beginnings

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What is Body Language?

Body Language – in Poetry and Art

 

Body Language, the poem,  was first written in 1977  - describing the constant battle I had with myself over my weight.  During a life-changing and transformative time in 2009, I finally came to an understanding of what the words “body language” actually meant to me.   The poem was transformed into a very different piece of writing when I realized that my body language was telling me to love myself unconditionally - from the inside out.  

It was then that the war with my body ended and I was able to find the words to rewrite this poem from a place of self-love.  It took over ten years for “Body Language” to emerge as art and poetry – appropriately so because it was part of my own metamorphosis.

When I look into a mirror today, I see something different than I did years ago.  I see a reflection of a woman who’s spirit shines through her eyes and it mirrors back to me who I truly am!

Contact page for the Essence of Laurel website

The touch drawing below is unencumbered – an image that came from my head, heart and hands onto paper.  That and the poem is as it should be ~ joy-filled and beautiful!  Laurel

 

touch drawing Body Language by artist Laurel Rund

Body Language

There was a time when my soul was

mirrored by the form of my body.

As my girth grew wider and I felt out of control,

there was a voice crying out saying

“hear me, feel me, and let me be free!”

With an outward attitude of pleasantries

and getting along as comfortably as I could,

I would not listen to that urgent plea.

And, like the ironies of so many things in life,

my feelings could not be ignored or pushed down.

All of those unspoken and long neglected thoughts

were eaten up to numb the pain.

When I finally allowed these voices to emerge and be heard,

I was transformed – food no longer was my “source.”

I listened, found my purpose

and unearthed my spirit.

And now ~ my body mirrors

 the Essence of my Being!

Laurel D. Rund

October 1977 ~ June 2010

 

 

Note: this and other poetry and artwork can be found in my book “Emerging Voices”

 

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Rebirth of a Renaissance Man-Becoming a Writer by Joel Levinson

Metamorphosis – Your Stories 

 

Becoming a Writer

 Rebirth of a Renaissance Man

Metamorphosis – Your Stories /Inspirational stories of transformation & self realization

Contributed by Joel Levinson

 

I always thought I would be an architect until the day I died, and in spirit that still may be true, but in the spring of this year, I turned my back on my successful architectural practice (in part due to the economy), and hung out a new shingle – on my way to becoming a writer.  Was my emergence as a writer easy?  For me, yes, it was easy, for reasons I will explain below.  From an early age it was evident I had many talents and over the years the moniker, Renaissance Man, was used to refer to me and to my easily acquired skills in many areas.

But my switch from a forty-five year career in architecture and interior design to my current emergence as a writer was a dramatic one, and so the title of this piece—Rebirth of a Renaissance Man—seemed appropriate.

I was asked to write this short essay to inspire you to have your own rebirth, whether you have many talents or just one, and to consider switching to something you’ve long wanted to do, but were afraid to try.  This may be your moment to let the bird out of the cage because I trust the wisdom of the subconscious.  If at an early age (or any age) you feel a calling to be a chef, or a cosmologist, or a musician, or a writer, then listen to that internal voice.  Follow your heart; go for what resonates inside you.  That’s the bird locked in the cage that is you.  If you have any doubt about trusting your instincts, read the book Blink by author, Malcolm Gladwell.  Then trust.

My first career goal, around the age of twelve, was to be a farmer…but my father lied to me and said there were no Jewish farmers.  He was a lawyer and wanted a son who was a professional.  I think he may have been right in directing to me to another field because I think I would have preferred looking out over my crops from a rocking chair on my porch than getting up at four in the morning to start a rigorous workday.

Then came my first interest in wanting to be a writer, roughly around the age of fourteen.  Little did I know at the time that my father’s half-brother had been a mildly successful writer of mysteries who died of syphilis facedown in a gutter.  It was the age before antibiotics and there was no hope for a cure.  So when I mentioned my interest in writing, my father probably pictured his poor son also in the gutter, starving and diseased, and so with urgency he suggested I first have a profession I could rely on.

I recall he made a list (which may still be stuffed somewhere in my burgeoning shelves of memorabilia) and went down it with me, one respectable profession at a time.  When he hit architecture, a current of electricity went through me and there and then I decided that’s what I’d be.  It hasn’t exactly been a profession I could rely on financially because I practiced architecture [and also interior design] more as an art than a business.  The fruits of that career are visible at jla@jladesign.com and I’m pleased to report my designs have been preserved by the Architectural Archives at the University of Pennsylvania.  But every opportunity to write something creatively was an opportunity I took, and so when the economy nose-dived and with my first novel begging me to complete it, I made the change, gave up architecture and switched to writing.

At age 73, I will have successfully made a career change and an emergence as a writer.  In just a few days (mid-September, 2012) my first novel, The Metamorphosis - Your Stories / Stories -My Emergence as a writerReluctant Hunter, will be published.  It’s a tragic love story that takes place against the background of the Bosnian War.   It was voted Editor’s Choice by my publisher, iUniverse, an imprint of the Penguin Group.   The novel, a tragic love story, is a gripping account of horrific circumstances experienced by innocents in a war of ethnic cleansing that never should have been fought

I will admit that a small nest egg made that transition easier than if I had nothing to fall back upon, but writing was pulsing in me.  I had to write!  I knew I was good and decided to take the leap.  If there’s anyway for you to take the leap and do something you need to do, something that is the real you, I urge you to open that cage door and fly.  My next goal is to direct or write the screenplay for the movie that I hope will be produced using my book as a point of departure.  Why not, I believe anything is possible!

“Time does not change us. It just unfolds us”  Max Frisch


Metamorphosis – Your Stories/ Inspirational stories of transformation & self realization

Joel Levinson – Bio

Joel Levinson is a 1963 graduate of the School of Fine Arts at the University of Pennsylvania.  He began working as an architect in 1966, and started his own practice in 1969.  His work in interior design (he is self-taught) began in the mid-70s when he was commissioned to convert a 360,000 square foot warehouse in center city Philadelphia into a regional interior design center.  This project, which was published in the Philadelphia Inquirer under the heading Instant Landmark, led to his commission to design the corporate offices for the R. M. Shoemaker Company, one of the region’s largest union contractors.  The project won a first prize in Philadelphia Magazine’s first office interior design contest.

In the 1974 book by Teitleman and Longstreth, Architecture In Philadelphia: A Guide, Joel’s first residential project – the 1966 Brasler Residence in East Falls-was illustrated with the comment: “Joel Levinson, while just beginning his practice, is part of no school but is a source of tasteful and inventive works.”  Levinson’s reputation was raised a notch in 1969 when his strikingly original Arbor House in Melrose Park, PA won a national design award.  The house, which is surrounded by trellises, has continued to attract recognition in national and international professional journals.  Levinson’s drawings, architectural models, and correspondence are now being collected by The Architectural Archives at the University of Pennsylvania, where they will be preserved for future research.  A book to be published by The Archives titled, The Houses of Joel Levinson, is in the planning phase.

Levinson has been active in many projects related to architecture and otherwise.  He was the Founder and Director of The Architectural League of the Philadelphia Art Alliance and was a Corporate Member of the Board of Directors, Philadelphia Chapter, of the American Institute of Architects.  He was and remains the Founder of The Avenue of American History Initiative, and was the founder of SpaceGroup, a salon that meets in his house twice a month to discuss science and philosophy.

Although he began to photograph, paint, draw and sculpt in his early teens, photography has become Levinson’s primary art.  Mostly self-trained in the fine arts, he has exhibited his work at the Philadelphia Art Alliance and a gallery at the University City Science Center, where he designed two office buildings, and most recently at the Nichols Berg Gallery in Chestnut Hill in an exhibit titled Joel Levinson: A Retrospective.

Joel Levinson has long been active as a weekend writer of fiction and non-fiction.  His first novel, The Reluctant Hunter is soon to be published by iUniverse.  His is currently working on a major treatise title The Daring Diagonal: Architecture, Geometry, and the Impact of Revolutionary Thought.

http://joellevinsonauthor.com

http://chestnuthilllocal.com/blog/2011/06/08/local-renaissance-man-gets-a-life’s-work-show/

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Synchronicities – a day in the life of Essence of Laurel

Synchronicities

“We do not create our destiny; we participate in its unfolding.  Synchronicity works as a catalyst toward the working out of that destiny.”   David Richo

Writing

Over the last few days my life has been filled with synchronistic events.  It started with me worrying about my new blog, Metamorphosis – Your Stories.   I was concerned that the stories I was asking people to share would be difficult to come by.

Then, low and behold, I got an email from a site I subscribe to – the Reporter Connection.   It dawned on me that I was participating in this site in a one-sided manner – receiving queries but not asking for participation.  So  I decided to step outside my comfort zone and submit a query to other writers  - and asked them to share their story of transformation.   I was pleased when I lerned that my “query” was accepted and would go out to the site’s subscribers.  I took a risk and was rewarded with a feeling that my intent to share these stories was not going to come to a dead end – the  the Universe would not let this project come to a halt.   Now…. hold this thought and I’ll come back to it.

Music

The next day, my partner and I went out to do some errands.   The first stop was to a dance store to pick something up.   The owner of the store and I started talking, and somehow we found out that both of our fathers were musicians.   We compared notes and discovered that each had been on the staff at ABC during the time when the television stations had live musicians “on staff”.  We somehow found out that our fathers had both worked with Artoro Toscanini, an Italian conductor;  one of the most acclaimed musicians of the late 19th and 20th century, renowned for his intensity, his perfectionism, his ear for orchestral detail and sonority, and his photographic memory.  So each of our fathers had also worked together at the New York Philharmonic.

We continued to chat on about our fathers, each recalling how it felt to hear them play.  It was an energizing and endearing encounter.  When she asked what I do, I gave her my card, told her about my artwork, writing and, of course, my blog  Metamorphosis – Your Stories.

Spirituality

The next stop was to a pack and shipping store.  While my partner was busy talking to the proprietor, I started talking with a woman who had a small dog with her.   I bent down to pet the dog and asked what her name was.  The woman replied “Shanti*”  – and I looked up and asked, “what does the name mean to you?”   She replied “peace”.

*Shanti, Santhi or Shanthi (from Sanskrit śāntiḥ) means peace, rest, calmness, tranquility, or bliss. The poet T.S. Eliot, in his poem The Waste Land (where he spelled it Shantih) translated it as “The Peace which passeth understanding.”

We talked about our mutual love of  chanting music, and discovered that we knew people in common from our different spiritual centers. Then just as quickly as the conversation started up, each of us went on our own way.   So, from asking about a dog’s name to a conversation about spirituality, who would have guessed!

No Coincidences

Now, back to my first thoughts on synchronicities 

After doing several other errands, my partner and I went to lunch.   I casually looked at my email on my IPhone (I know, be in the moment and don’t let the tech stuff get in the way), but I did.   And low and behold, I had received over 20 responses to my query for people to share stories on my blog.   I yelped with surprise and joy.   I knew right there and then that Metamorphosis – Your Stories was meant to be!

“If you only believe – all things are possible”Metamorphosis - Your Stories/Inspirational Stories of transition and self-realization

 

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It’s happening! “Metamorphosis – Your Stories” has come to life!

My new blog  “Metamorphosis – Your Stories” has come to life.   This is my way of contributing meaningful and heartfelt stories which are intended to inspire you,  the reader.

Someone once told me during a life-altering event that I should pay attention  because special moments “golden nuggets” would show themselves. During a time of excrutiating emotional pain (the last week of my husband’s life) that suggestion made me acutely aware of the random acts of kindness which occurred even though I was numb and blurred.    The memories of other’s acts of kindness are imprinted in my very being and affects who I am today.

Was there a life-changing event which transformed you and made you the person you are today?  Do you have a story to share?

When we we share our transformative moments, we put something positive into the Universe.  Let’s talk about what lights up our lives and build upon that energy!  Click on the banner below and it will take you to the page which describes how you can participate in Metamorphosis – Your Stories.  Let’s pay-it-forward together!   Thank you for participating.   Laurel

“One must still have chaos in oneself to be able to give birth to a dancing star.”

Friedrich Nietzche

 

Metamorphosis - Your Stories/Inspirational Stories of transition and self-realization

 

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Is there room in my heart?

After my husband, Marty, passed away in 2009 one of my biggest worries was wondering  ”is there was room in my heart” for another man and would this somehow cause me to lose Marty “again.”  I believed my heart would remain closed to someone else because of that fear.  But with time and the assistance of people I trust, I learned that this assumption was not true.  I now know that within my cellular structure I will  always carry the memory of and love for my husband.

I have come to understand that I have an infinite capacity to love and that one love does not replace another.  I liken it to wondering if you could love your second child as much as your first because the love for your first child is so spectacular.  My heart expanded happily – I had more than enough room to love another child.

The gentle man  who is in my life today has entered my heart in the most unexpected and wonderful way.  He is not threatened by what I had with Marty – he welcomes it as what makes me who I am today.  A woman with more than enough room in her heart to love again.  Unconditional love is just that – it doesn’t rely on conditions to be.

The piece below was a touch drawing that I turned into story art.  There are many symbols within the picture that speak to me.   But, that’s my story.   What’s yours?

 

Is there room in my heart - Can We Will We the song

Click here to hear the song Can We Will We from the book & CD Emerging Voices

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To be or Just Be – That is the Question

To be or Just Be – That is the Question

 

Every day is filled with questions, especially whether I should/can be or just be?  I realize that I often get stuck in fear and bogged down with mapping out every single detail of what I am working on.    When I get quiet and listen to my own voice, go within and remember not to be unsure, afraid, or self-doubting I move forward.

Sometimes it’s as simple as reminding myself that the edit button is a magical and freeing tool (used to be that’s why pencil’s have erasors!)   I can change what I have written, rework a piece of art that meets me where I am, or change my attitude.

So, when you are wondering whether to be or just be –  remember what Eleanor Roosevelt said “You gain strength, courage and confidence by every experience in which you stop to look fear in the face-you must do the thing you think you cannot do.”  

Carpe Diem!

Laurel

Laurel's blog about to be or just be - that is the question!

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Emerging Voices – Find out where joy resides

Emerging Voices – the book, the storyart

by Laurel D. Rund

 

 

I love quotes!   Collect them, save them, use them to inspire myself and others.   One of my favorite quotes “A bird does not sing because it has an answer, it sings because it has a song” (Chinese proverb) held particular meaning to me as I was creating my first book “Emerging Voices”.  I knew I didn’t have an answer, but nothing was going to stop me from singing my song.  This quote also inspired me to create the bird which graces each page of my book (see below).   She makes my heart sing!

When I sell my book Emerging Voices in person, I include that quote with my  autograph with the additional words ”go sing your song!”

Laurel D. Rund

My love of quotes found its way into my artwork in the form of  story art cards.   They can be found on my Fine Art America gallery.   A few samples are shown below.  Enjoy!  Laurel

 

Emerging Voices by Laurel Rund

Story Art Cards by Essence of Laurel

 

storyart quote cards by Essence of Laurel

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Elegy to a Tree

Elegy to a Tree

 

Elegy to a Tree, the poem, was written about six months after my husband passed away.   It at the time when I had turned to the expressive arts to help me express my soul’s grief.

After enrolling in a drawing class, I was given an assignment to go outside and draw a tree.   I knew exactly which tree I wanted to draw – my favorite tree which was right outside my house on the golf course. There were oh so many times when I would sit and look at “my tree” in the sunshine and the lightning storms,  taking great comfort in its strength and dignity. When our neighbors built their house next to ours, my biggest concern was that it would block my view of the tree.   Fortunately, that didn’t happen.

When I took my drawing pad outside to work on this assignment, to my horror and dismay I discovered that “my tree” was missing.   It had been taken down and replaced with an ordinary palm tree.   So, from a state of grief and loss, I drew the found one of the many pictures I had taken of the tree and used that image to draw from.

Once completed, I was compelled to write “An Elegy to a Tree” as a tribute and eulogy.  The poem speaks volumes about what I was experiencing at that time in my life – a loss of any kind created a raw emotion that went down to my very core, my “roots”.

As I have traveled with my work to art shows, the piece created from my drawing and the photograph of the tree seems to call out to passers by.  This story art touches the viewers almost instantly.   It is spiritual in nature, and I don’t think I had much to do with creating it other than to have it come through my hands and heart onto paper.  Elegy to a tree is mean to be shared so that its spirit lives on.

Elegy to a Tree

Welcoming all to a vision of grandeur,

you stood tall and proud with your trunk rooted firmly in the ground

as your limbs reached towards the heavens.

I watched in awe as playful birds rested on your bare branches,

and marveled when your sparse limbs were

 illuminated by gleaming sunbeams.

You withstood the force of fierce winds, unrestrained rainstorms

and seemed to revel as lightning danced raggedly around you.

During your time on earth, your spirit was one of

beauty, dignity, grace and, above all, courage.

Then suddenly one day you disappeared!

 Thoughtlessly cut down to fulfill

man’s need for youthful perfection, you were

replaced with a rather unremarkable seedling.

Was it was time for your journey to

come to an end so that a new life could begin?

Nonetheless, your loss was jarring.

 Know this oh grand tree ~

 the indelible image of your

magnificent strength and glory

 will always have a home within my soul!

© Laurel  D. Rund 2009

Elegy to a Tree story art by Laurel D Rund

Elegy to a Tree

Trees play a significant part in my life.  On the first year marker of my husband’s death, February 11th, 2010, I planted a beautiful bottle brush tree outside my office window with notes from me and my grandchildren under the roots of the tree.  Birds and butterflies land on this tree (now “Marty’s tree”)  and it gives me great pleasure every time I look up from my computer and see it.

It is a symbol of hope and regrowth!   As it grows, so do I.    View all posts by Laurel Rund →on Open to Hope’s website

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Events with Essence of Laurel

 

 

Events with Essence of Laurel

I will be participating in the 23rd Annual Hyde Park Art Festival.   Look for the Essence of Laurel Booth and come by to say hello!   Laurel

Hyde Park Village, Tampa, FL

If you’re planning a trip to Tampa, or nearby St. Petersburg, put this event on your list of things to do. Tampa’s trendy downtown area of Hyde Park Village with brick courtyards, fountains and tree-lined streets is the perfect backdrop for a fine outdoor festival such as the 23rd Annual Hyde Park Village Art Fair. Life-size sculptures, spectacular paintings, one-of-a-kind jewels, photography, ceramics, and much more make for one fabulous weekend.

Saturday & Sunday 10:00 AM – 5:00 PM   Free Admission

Navigational Address

1622 Snow Avenue
Tampa, FL 33606

Directions:
From I-275: Take the Howard/Armenia exit near downtown. Go south on Armenia to Swann Ave. Turn left on Swann and go about 1/4 mile to Hyde Park Village.

Hope to see you at the 23rd Annual Hyde Park Village Art Festival!

Photography Prints

Photography Prints

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24th Annual Downtown Sarasota Festival of the Arts ~ February 18th & 19th, 2012

Getting ready for the 24th Annual Downtown Sarasota Festival of the Arts (Sarasota, FL) February 18th & 19th, 2012, Saturday & Sunday 10:00 AM – 5:00 PM   Main Street in downtown Sarasota, Fl     The Essence of Laurel booth number is 194 and will be located facing the Selby Library, 1331 First Avenue, Sarasota, FL 34236.Keeping my fingers, toes and eyes crossed in hope that it doesn’t rain.   Hope to see you at the art show.   My best,  Laurel

 

Wow, dreams do come true!

Essence

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